A little while ago I was sitting at work when I realized that if I went home that day I would kill myself. I contacted my therapist, but characteristically didn’t make the situation seem as dire as it was. She couldn’t get me in for a couple days.
So, on my break, I walked into our school social-worker’s office, closed the door, burst into tears, and told her everything. Being the amazing human soul she is, she drove me to the psychiatric emergency room at the nearest hospital. By 9:00 pm that night, I was admitted to their inpatient psychiatric ward.
I stayed there for 48 hours. By the end of my stay, I had decided I would be taking a leave of absence from work for the rest of the semester in order to devote myself full time to my mental health.
My leave started today. During this time I will be in in intensive therapy. But I have always found it much easier to communicate my thoughts in writing than out loud. Therefore, as part of my self care, I am starting a blog.
This blog will be a space for me to be fully honest with myself. I will be sharing my experiences, my random thoughts on areas of interest that occupy my mind, original poetry, and anything else that may occur to me.
This blog is for me. But one of my goals is to be more open so more people can get to know and love me for who I am (including myself).
So, if you’re interested in reading more of my story, want to get to know me a little better, looking to support the voice of mental health, or are just plain nosy about how the hell I went so crazy, subscribe below.
Thank you everyone for your love and support.
March 6, 2021 marks exactly a year since I left my job as a teacher and went on mental health leave. This year has been the most transformative year of my life. So, I thought I’d take this opportunity to reflect on some of the lessons I learned that proved to be the most important to my recovery.
Since surviving suicide, my mental health journey has become a process of acknowledging the needs I’ve denied myself in the service of others. Acknowledging those needs, validating those needs, and fulfilling those needs for the first time in my life. Those needs include learning how to cope with my sensory sensitivities.
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